Day 54 - A gentle touch

I've had this weird tingling in my right arm the last couple of days.  Not sure what it is and hoping it is not carpel tunnel.  Can't seem to catch a break! But other than that today's gentle yoga was just what the doctor ordered to give me the energy and the strength to effectively plow through my day.  It was a challenging day, but an interesting one as I learned more about my career and my future.  I am grateful to have some great colleagues who will help see me through this and give me good advice.

Anyway not much to add today so I better get to my meditation before I find more reasons to delay it.

Days 46 and 47 - Gently Flex

I really like that flexibility workout.  It is a perfect mix of challenge and soothe.  Push hard but get looser.  Part of me wishes I practiced in the evening so I could really make progress in the workout.  In the morning I always feel sooooo stiff.  But hey it loosens me up so what more could I want.

The gentle yoga today was good too.  Really relaxing and set me in just the right mood for work.  Amazing that I did so well on just one cup of coffee.  No depression, no sadness, no feeling overly stressed.

You might also be wondering why I don't do the hardcore anymore.  In a nutshell - because I don't need to.  I am getting an excellent workout without it and part of "letting go" is letting go of the perfectionism I need for the hardcore.

I've also been doing a daily meditation, which has been pretty good for me.  Just 10 minutes a day.  It is in an app and is guided.  This was my 4th day and the first I had trouble with it.  Perhaps it is too repetitive, but I will keep doing it for now and right a separate post on it in due time.

Namaste.

Day 40 - So gentle and sweet

I enjoyed the gentle yoga today.  It really is hard to take a break from the hustle and bustle, but I take it as a huge step forward that I feel as alert and good as I do now despite not having the athletic morning. I had conditioned so many bad habits in my life that I truly began to believe all the negativity that I had thought.  I had created and fed myself with bad thoughts.  "I can't do it if I don't...", "I'm just not whole without...",  "I'm useless before..."

What destructive thoughts.  Now I just breathe and know that alertness and awareness will come to me.  In truth, I still struggle every morning and I still crave and miss the supplements.  The level of goodness in my day never reaches that level of excitement I had before.  The feelings of inadequacy continue to well in me.  The feelings of failure and insufficiency plague my mind, but it is a process and one I am trying to overcome.   This 108 day journey is so much more than a physical journey.  It really is a time of self-reflection.  I truly hope that this inward acceptance is the first painful step to overcoming and leading a more natural happier healthier life.

Days 33-34 - Be Gentle

Yesterday was the first day of eating vegan.  Probably ever.  As I write this I am staring at my bowl of roasted red pepper hommous and thinking that veganism actually is not that terrible.  I have had more energy, felt lighter and more refreshed.  But I've also felt more hungry.  I think I tend to get fuller faster over fewer calories but then my body gives a backlash so I end up eating more frequently.

Yesterday I made a cauliflower and chick pea curry.  Proud of myself because I did it with no recipe and it was actually pretty tasty.  Today I made a spicy bok choy with pad thai noodles.  Tomorrow I'm thinking of doing something with tofu.

Today's yoga practice was the first time doing gentle yoga.  Not really my cup of tea.  Much prefer the yin yoga (which is tomorrow's practice).  I couldn't focus well, but I'm sure it didn't help that I was freezing, exhausted and running late.   Work has become insane again and I'm trying to motivate, but it is very hard without the supplements to delude me into a happier mindset.

I better get to bed and do a little meditation - starting to feel hazy and today was extremely stressful.  Glad to be ending it in a good mood.  Tomorrow I have back to back meetings all day, but I still have my Yin Yoga practice so I know I will be fine.