Days 55-58 - In my own time

I was going to stop this blog altogether.  Reason being that I realized I was putting pressure on myself to keep it updated and that was counterintuitive to what I have been trying to accomplish here. I've been trying to convince myself to take life more easily.  Not to create arbitrary goals and work for myself.  Not to have the stress.

So I was going to say sayonara when I realized I was doing it again even when I was trying not to do it again.

I need to be better at letting go.  I need to accept that sometimes "giving up" is really the right choice, no matter how hard it might be for me.

But that also shouldn't come at the cost of a good thing - an outlet for me and hopefully others.  A chronicle of an important journey and a chance for me to pen thoughts in real time.

So I am going to give up on daily updates.  (I arguably did weeks ago!)
I'm going to give up on feeling like I have to post and only post because I want to post.
I am going to give up on caring so much about consistency and just say what I wish to say and only if I wish to say it.

Day 20 - Vingt, 3shreen, Hatsuka, Yi-Ship

20 days in.  Wow.  Despite a few setbacks I still feel energized with the program and I can't wait to keep moving forward with it.  I've actually been losing weight and feeling better (minus those damn neck crooks).

Been nice to have my "Goo gir" back again and she is the perfect hot water bottle for the cold winter days.

Today's vitality class was fun.  It is not the most challenging of the power yoga classes, but it has a lot of unique motions that make it a fun practice.  At the end of the practice my dog came to curl up in between my legs during savasana.

I still can't meditate well, but I did get through the full 10 minutes last night (barely), which is actually the first time I've even tried in quite a while.

I'm afraid of tomorrow's gratitude meditation, but I will do my best.  That's all I can hope for.

Days 18 & 19 - Double Your Money

2 posts for the price of one.  Doesn't get better than that?  Reason being - not much exciting to report.  After a day where I was too sick to get out of bed I did manage to bring myself to the mat for Yin Yoga yesterday.  It was just what the Dr. ordered and I honestly started feeling better afterwards.  But just being able to walk around again and get out of bed seemed like a miracle.  Also the mystery neck crook had returned and didn't seem to want to go away anytime soon.

Well the decision point came - do we give up our beloved dog of 4 years or do we try somehow to keep her despite our overly hectic schedules? Our mother-in-law had been taking care of her for the few months leading up to this, but suffered a broken elbow after slipping on the ice when our dog tugged on her.  The irony is I had just been saying to my mother-in-law the day before that we should consider finding the dog another home because it would be a better life for the dog.  Better than receiving two short walks each day and being left alone all day.  Better than being seen as a burden and a chore.  She should be somewhere she can run off lead and be with a family that loves her.  That is in the dog's best interest.  It is also in our best interest because we can relieve ourselves of the commitment.

But after spending a weekend with her a few things happened:

• I saw how loving an animal she is.  She came to curl up with me just like old times, keeping me warm when I was shivering from my illness, laying down outside of my son's room while he slept, and otherwise just being by our side.
• I realized how much my son loves her already.  He chases her around saying "Goo Gir" (good girl) and patting her.  He would feed her kibble by kibble.  The smile on his face is just priceless. What an amazing opportunity it is for him to grow up with the love of animals - something my parents never gave to me or my siblings and something we had to develop (and only some of us did).
• I came to understand that all her "bad behaviors" were really not hers at all, but rather the byproduct of bad ownership on our part.  I was saddened to see everyone else willing to discard her just because she was inconvenient, but all the memories of all the times she had been there for us in the last four years came flooding to me.  

So I decided I could not give up on her.  If she truly was a member of the family, something I always maintained, then I needed to fight for her like I would every other member of this ragtag group I call a family.  The dog stays.

As I wrote this she came into the living room and just jumped into my lap and laid down.  She's a great dog and indeed a "Goo Gir".

So with a clear conscience I awoke this morning and commenced the detox workout.  Partially due to the illness, this was easily the hardest workout I've faced yet and I was sweating buckets, but I made it through and at the time of writing this, I realize I haven't had medicine in nearly 8 hours and I feel great - except for that neck crank.

Day 13 - Tall glass of shut the hell up...

In the preamble today Travis tells us to put down our caffeinated beverages and drink a tall glass of yoga vitality.  The subject of this post is a reference to Ben Stiller's character in Happy Gilmore at this part:

But seriously dude - don't you know that it was Saturday last night so I caved and had a few too many meaning that I was up too late, slept too little and had a thumping hangover.  Not only did I need 2/3 a scoop of NoXplode today, but I also needed a cup of coffee before I got into my workout.  That said the workout was awesomely energizing.  Pretty sure I still needed the caffeine, but I was so pleased with how well the workout went given how hungover I should have been.  And the energy carried me through most of the day.  Only needed a little bit of tea here and there to see me through the day caffeine wise.

Still skipping meditation.  I know I need to be better.  Will try again tonight.

Day 9 - Neck Crack

Man that crook in my neck hasn't gotten any better yet.  Trying to figure out which pose or poses is doing it to me.  I don't have any problem while in the workouts, but something seems to be creating an issue.  Guess its a tylenol day.

Today's cardio workout was lot of fun.  I wore heavy sweats and a sweater so that I could survive the freezer that is my living room.  Good plan.  Definitely broke a sweat today.  I try and do a pushup between each sun salutation, but I started to fail towards the end and my upward dogs became cobras for sure.

I finally got around to watching the introduction.  Leggy brunette is Lauren Eckstrom.  You can find her here.  A suitably hot name for a suitably hot lady. 

 

Courtesy of http://laureneckstromyoga.com/?page_id=4

Have I mentioned that I love Yoga?

Apparently she is a yoga instructor in Santa Monica and teaches retreats with Travis (I've secretly been wondering if they are an item).  She lost like 6 lbs or something doing the program. (N.B. it was actually 16 but srsly folks? I fluctuate 10 in a day).

We meet a few other people.  I was totally going to raz on the guy I like to call sweaty Marky Mark in a future session.  Then we find out he was addicted to Aderol and Anti-depressants and yoga gave him his life back.  Now I just feel like an a$$h*le (which I am, but I don't need YOU to remind me).

Obv last night's meditation was a failure so won't go into it.

 

Day 7 - Mountain Poses & Pranayama Meditation

January 6, 2014

Bet you guys were worried I already gave up.  Nah, just late to the party because I had a crazy day getting back to work.  Happy New Year to me.  I don't promise to always update on the day of, but I will try to post something on each of the 108 days.  After a while I'll stop the workout posts and post on other fun yoga related topics since it might get boring/creepy to hear me go "aaarrghhh Travis no please not the PLOW"..."aarrghh that brunette chick in the leg warmers is SOOOOOO hot...." for 108 days.

Well today's workout was actually the first one I failed at.  How can I fail a day about breathing and meditation? You'd think you just have to show up.  Well you underestimate the ability of my little one to pick impeccable timing to get up early.  His moans turned into cries and then into screams and wails.  Sheesh.  I had to go get him.  Plus Travis was going on about being grateful to grasshoppers or something and I'm not exactly the grateful type.  When others are grateful for getting over a cold I wonder why they had to get one in the first place.  A deeper more metaphysical conversation for another time.  Oh and it was -15 today so definitely wasn't feeling grateful, particularly when I had to dig my nanny's car back out of the snow again.

I tried to make it up by doing 10 minutes of meditation this evening, but I got through only 7 and then started checking Instagram...I'm not even sure I should be calling myself the Mediocre Yogi right now...

Day 6 - Vitality

Last night's idea of meditation was - why not do it in bed? That way I can fall asleep right after.  Um note to self - it doesn't work like that.  Apparently it was just a poor way for me to add an extra 10 minutes tossing and turning like I usually do when I try to sleep.  I did get to sleep without melatonin again though.  First step - sleep without drugs.  Second step - become ultimate yogi.  Third step - rule the world!

I won't belabor the cast shake up again except to say I'm glad to see Mila Kunis lookalike again.  About 10 minutes in my little one wakes up (about an hour and a quarter before his usual wake up time).  Uh oh.  I give it 10 minutes, but he starts getting louder.  I go up with some water and pray that does the trick.  It does! Blissfully he goes back down to sleep and I manage to get through the workout.

The vitality postures comprise a fair number of the heart opening and back bending poses.  Surprisingly, though the workout is tough, I think this might have been my easiest one yet.  It caters to strength, which is one of the few things I'm not shy on.  Even wheel pose is not too bad given years of wrestling practice, but it was a lot easier when I weighed 140 then now when I weigh 2 *cough cough* what was I saying?

Of course Travis has to put us in plow...again.  This pose is fine for the ultimate yogi or even the ordinary toothpick yogi, but when you are the overly rotund mediocre yogi you really start to worry if you are going to get stuck there and never make it back out.

Like all the other workouts, this is a long one.  Weirdly I am feeling more drained than vitalized.  For some reason I am more sleepy than I have been for the other workouts.  Not sure why as last night was the first Saturday in about a year that I didn't get completely schlonked.  In fact, I *gasp* haven't had a drink all weekend.

So the wife gets home from taking care of her mom, I've made us a breakfast of potatoes, chorizo, spinach and eggs.  After an idyllic breakfast reality sets in.  More snow.  Ugh...I'm going to take a nap.  I try to nap, but the little one starts groaning again.  Ok, he who hesitates/procrastinates...

An hour long 80s montage later we have a clean driveway and I have two frostbitten fingers and am feeling even less vitalized.  Mmmmm...wife baked chocolate croissants.  One bite never hurt anyone *consumes entire croissant, numerous chocolate chip cookies and a lemon poppy seed muffin*

Still hungry.

Day 4 - Yin Yoga

Let's start with last night's meditation.  10 minutes of profound thoughts about how much I really don't want to go back to work.  Not much of a meditation, but was still nice to lay on the ground for 10 minutes.

Today's practice - Yin Yoga.  Wikipedia describes Yin Yoga as "a slow-paced style of yoga with postures or asanas that are held for comparatively long periods of time."  

Finally, a chance to take it easy. I'll take this Yin with a side of Yang please. I also notice that the cast of characters seems slightly shaken up. Tattoo scar chest seems to have been replaced by a guy that looks like a mildly bearded Otaku who left the computer to try and get in shape...just like me! Cool, I can do this. Cute Asian girl has also been replaced with cute South East Asian girl. One of the brunettes looks like a much prettier Mila Kunis, but is wearing a conspicuously low cut tank top. I like Yin Yoga.


First pose of the day is

 

- courtesy of www.fitknitchick.com @ here

What the funk? My body doesn't bend like that. Travis says "we're going to hold this for 3 minutes". Seriously?

Turns out each pose is held for 3-5 minutes to allow you to really work into the poses and release all the fascia or something like that in your connective tissue. I'm just thinking "ow". Apparently this will make me feel rejuvenated, but right now I just feel "ow".

Then the truth comes out. "Some of you might be thinking this is the hardest practice". Well to be honest, I don't think it is harder or easier. It is harder in some ways, but easier athletically. Some poses are really difficult, but others feel really good. Nevertheless, I find it remarkable how each of the poses manages to work into and release some area where I've had a pre-existing injury. Of course I'm careful not to overdue it so as not to hurt those places. Travis mentions that this practice is designed to help heal those injuries. Huh, just what the doctor ordered. Still I'm amazed how much of my weaknesses this practice targets and it overall feels really good..."like a good massage" to quote Bryan Kest. My injuries are a large part of the reason why I fell back into yoga, but that is another story for another time.

I never enjoyed slow paced yoga before, but I would highly recommend Yin Yoga to anyone looking for a change of pace and a chance to work on some problem spots.

Day 3 - Strength

January 2, 2014

I woke up this morning definitely feeling groggy.  First day back to work means first day waking up at 5:30 again.  My body is still sore from the last two days, particularly my core, which is feeling the effects of being pushed to hard in hardcore and then again through the twists in the cardio sequence.  Also didn't help to have to shovel feet of snow last night.  That's what I get for buying a house only miles from the lake...(oh it's beaauuuutiful here...).

Today's challenge, which I chose to accept was the strength workout.  Thankfully my upper body is already plenty strong from years of weights.  I can't do more than 3 pull-ups at a time, but boy can I push some heavy weights off my chest in a vertical up and down motion.  Talk about functional strength!

The workout is challenging, but not as bad as the first two...this is going to be a cakewalk - wait more twists and inversions?  Did I mention that my core is sore?  In particular my obliques are failing me.  In the midst of my pain, my fear returns.  That dude's chest markings look like someone sliced him with a knife 6 times symmetrically (himself)?  I bet he's one of those people who everyone goes.  "Oh Bob? He's suuuuper nice"

I don't know if it was the fact that I was quarter-asleep (the NoXplode helped with 1/2 and the yoga a 1/4), but I really had trouble focusing and my mind kept wandering.  I would love to pretend it was wondering for wholesome reasons, but if you know me and/or have read any previous post you know I was perving again.  One of my resolutions this year is to be more honest so hooray for honesty.  More honesty - probably didn't help that I completely cheated the common sense food program again by eating way too many buffalo chicken/ketchup flavored potato chips last night (I really need to get the snacks out of my house).

Next up was the Hardcore workout again.  You'd think given some crazy sore obliques that I'd just back off for today in true Yogi fashion.  Nope, that's not the Mediocre Yogi style.  I decide to "push through the pain" Rocky style.  In moments like this, I ask myself, what would the Governator do?  He would call me a girly man and then ridicule me until I did the workout.  So I give it a shot, epically fail (about 20-30% of reps) and clutch my side in pain.  I think I really am a girly man.

Timing is perfect, just as I'm finishing up, my nanny comes through the door with her little daughter who starts running around the house screaming "OUR CAR IS STUCK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD! OUR CAR IS STUCK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO????!!!"  I'm not feeling very zen right now, but I do the only thing that makes sense and offer to dig the car out from the snow.  Brilliant.

Those of you who are actually bothering to read my ramblings with any semblance of interest may be wondering how this can be given that I shoveled feet of snow last night.  Erm...f*cked if I know, but there are feet of snow again.  WTF! So out I go, core screaming and shovel the driveway and all the snow that is under and around the car.  *Cue Rocky IV training montage music* Job done.

On the plus side I did actually do the 10 minute meditation last evening.  New working plan is to do the meditation before bed.  There is no rule that says I have to do it after my workout, and actually it was a really nice way to unwind.

Day 2 - Cardio

January 1, 2014

Happy New Year!

So how many times have I heard about the fabled cardio benefits of a yoga workout? True, when I was a lard butt in the beginning of 2013 I used to sweat doing yoga, but I also sweat every time I walked up a flight of stairs or had to carry more than 2 beers at a time.  Having completed P90X, Les Mills Combat and other cardio intensive programs I expected this to be one of the lighter programs.  I did P90's plyo workout every Saturday meaning I was hungover every time.  If I can handle that, I can handle anything.  Oh boy am I mistaken.  This sh*t is hard!  Despite my freezing living room (I caulked the windows properly I swear!), I have broken a sweat in no time.  I'm no longer terrified of all the tattoos, which is awesome progress.  I'm also not perving on the Asian girl, though brunette chick in the brown yoga pants on the other hand...hey it's only day two so please cut me some slack!

Every time I think Travis is going to be done with the vinyasa, he tricks me and keeps going, but I am determined not to give up.  A few of my up dogs become cobras and I skip a couple transition pushups, but otherwise I actually manage to hang.  However, my nanny must think I am dying with all my grunts and groans.  She brings the boy to check up on me.  Great - just what I need - my little one to see his old man as some sweaty messed up dude in an awkward compromising posture.

Thank Jachweh he finally reaches the cool down postures.  Wait, what's this, bridges?  Oh man I thought we were done.  Plow...PLOW! My chiropractor told me that the one pose he doesn't do is plow because he knows if he ever goes in, it's all over, he's had it and he's never getting out of it.  I generally feel the same, but I've come this far so I've got to try.

I remember when researching this program I read a review on Amazon with the reviewer beautifully chronicling their journey and mentioning they cried on the last day of the program.  I couldn't help but think what a wuss.  But the darndest thing happened is I shed a few tears during one of the twists.  Day 2? I guess I'm a real wuss.  Must be the hangover...