Day 108 - Namaste

So here I am, on the other side of the Ultimate Yogi, all 108 days complete.  Let's reflect first on the juice feast and lessons learned:

Juice Feast

1. Just because I lived off of V8 for 5 days when I was 19 doesn't mean that I can do it for 3 in my 30s.
2. Smoothies taste delicious when all you've had is V8 and water (see #1)
3. Soy Milk does not count as juice and there is no such thing as Beef Juice (even the drippings from your burger???!!!)
4. Hunger comes and goes in spurts and gets easier day after day.
5. Eating nothing for 3 days is actually easier than eating raw fruits and vegetables for 3 days - at least for me.
6. On the third day I was seriously "hangry".

So with that done, I was ready to tackle my 108 Sun Salutation final challenge: 

108 Sun Salutations

1. As with most of the program it is really hard to focus for 108 straight repetitions.
2. I am still a perv - albeit a more enlightened perv.
3. There is no such thing as the Ultimate Yogi or at least I will never be it.  However, I will be more centered, happier, supplement free, stronger, more flexible, more enlivened and more appreciative than I have ever been before.
4. The middle 36 were probably the hardest because you are tired and you don't yet see the light at the end of the tunnel.

For those of you wondering about my prophecy on Day 2 - yes there were tears at the end.  I honestly don't know what came over me - whether it was hunger, sadness, fatigue, happiness, joy, pride, wussiness or a blend of all of the above, but tears were definitely involved.

So a number of you spambots may be wondering what is next?  Well more yoga of course.  This journey helped me realize that weight training is not for me anymore, at least for now (never say never).  I purchased Yoga Warrior 365 and after taking this weekend to get some perspective (read: get really drunk) I started the program today.  I can already tell it is slower paced and not as intense as the Ultimate Yogi, but that is a good thing too.  Perhaps the longer held poses will allow me to focus and work on testing my edges.

I have no current plans to post on that journey, but I encourage you all to check back once in a while as who knows when the spirit may move me.

I'll leave you in true corporate fashion with some key metrics about my journey:

1. Days of Yoga: 108 (+1 @ Corporate HQ)
2. Days to complete the journey: 116
3. Days with sufficiently focused meditation: 0
4. Days of Crazy Diets: 9
5. Pounds lost on the program: 13
6. Cumulative Pounds lost since re-finding Yoga in Jan 2013: 31
7. Tears Shed: Too many
8. Yogi Style Pushups: Too many

Namaste

Day 99 - Life is good

Can't believe I'm almost there.  It has been an incredible journey.  As Travis promised, I am finishing happier, healthier, fitter and more flexible than I have ever been.  I can't believe that after 10 years I am finally off the bodybuilding supplements and not feeling cruddy, not feeling sad, not feeling like I need them for focus, not feeling I need them for athletic performance.  I forgot what it felt like to feel so great so naturally.  I forgot how good you can feel just by taking a breath.

And guess what?

I'm even baking in 10-15 minutes daily for meditation and realizing that it really fuels and energizes me throughout the day.

My wife is so annoyed with me because I'm stopping to observe the trees, flowers, birds, really all the things that I normally would not care to notice.

I've also been taking a class through Coursera on Buddhism and Modern Psychology as well as reading some great books.  I highly recommend the Seven Spiritual Laws of Yoga by Deepak Chopra for anyone who wants to explore the more spiritual side of yoga.  I keep them as calendar invites for myself now so I have some wisdom to guide me through each day.

I'm actually looking forward to the juice feast even though I know it will be a challenge.

Of course I still have my weaknesses.  I still get upset, sad, angry, pervy, bored, etc. just like anyone else, but I am better able to accept those things and better able to either control them or revert to a happier norm.

Grateful for this journey and now just wondering what I do once I complete the 108 days.

Day 79 - Surprise!

Betcha all thought I wouldn't be posting anymore, but I couldn't leave you hanging without telling you how the second detox went.

You might all remember the lessons learned from veganism post.   I have only one lesson learned from a raw diet: I never want to do that again.

Just kidding.  Well half.

The diet was really challenging and not so fun.  I found that eating raw trail mix, while filling, was not so satisfying after the first couple of cups...I also found that eating fruit, lettuce and nuts did not make for a very palate satisfying foodie adventure.

So I was ready to completely write it off as a terrible idea but then I noticed a few things happening:

1. I lost nearly 5 lbs - no joke - and this was after I was certain I had plateaud.  I've since put back on 2.5, but the other 2.5 seems to be stubbornly staying off.  My favorite kind of stubborn.
2. I noticed numerous other positive health impacts (but I will spare you the details).
3. I had increased energy and less stress.

Wheee!

Still don't want to do it again, but it is a terrific reminder to eat leanly and that our body reacts so well to what we put into it.  It is almost a Karmic reaction and not surprising given that we are composed primarily of what we eat.

This was solidified by the next day where I ate a whole lot of junk and found myself feeling like junk - lethargic, more sullen, heavy and unmotivated.

My natural motivation is finally starting to come back to me and for the first time ever I don't feel like I need to get back on the supplements.  I still have bad days, but the trend is upwards.  I can do this naturally, not because I have to, not because it is "better", but simply because I want to.

Days 55-58 - In my own time

I was going to stop this blog altogether.  Reason being that I realized I was putting pressure on myself to keep it updated and that was counterintuitive to what I have been trying to accomplish here. I've been trying to convince myself to take life more easily.  Not to create arbitrary goals and work for myself.  Not to have the stress.

So I was going to say sayonara when I realized I was doing it again even when I was trying not to do it again.

I need to be better at letting go.  I need to accept that sometimes "giving up" is really the right choice, no matter how hard it might be for me.

But that also shouldn't come at the cost of a good thing - an outlet for me and hopefully others.  A chronicle of an important journey and a chance for me to pen thoughts in real time.

So I am going to give up on daily updates.  (I arguably did weeks ago!)
I'm going to give up on feeling like I have to post and only post because I want to post.
I am going to give up on caring so much about consistency and just say what I wish to say and only if I wish to say it.

Days 49 and 50 - An Ode to Hippie Chick

So there is one lady in the group I haven't discussed, but shame on me for ignoring her just because of her hippie headband and vegan crunchy granola attire.  There is a beautiful lady and wonderful yogi who doesn't get nearly as much attention from the camera as she deserves.  Sure she is not as busty as Meredith, leggy as Lauren or toned as Patty.  But overall she has the total beautiful yogi package.  She is pretty, diligent, flexible, toned and dare I say it without knowing anything about her - humble.  I know so little I haven't even found out her name like the rest.  Nevertheless, there she is in most of the workouts, quietly unassumingly being such an asset to the program.

Sadly the best pic I could find of her on the interweb...(based on a 30 sec web search)...

Source: seekretreat.com

That's her on the right in front of Travis.  Look how deep her warrior one goes! I know it's not a competition, but she is kind of putting the incredibly hot Lauren to shame in this pic.

Go hippie chick! (Scar chest is also lunging pretty deeply!)

Day 48 - Twist those organs

I mean purify those orga...blergh gotta use the restroom again.

Twist after twist after twist.  Challenging as always, but loads of fun.

Believe it or not I deliberately said "no beef" to my bibimbap today and would have had a fully vegan meal but for the two small fishcakes I had on the side.  I just feel better when eating healthier and that is worth everything.

I would be lying if I said I didn't miss the supplements.  This is the first time I've been feeling "normal" off supplements.  But normal is still negative, pessimistic, gripey and generally tired.  Which beats the "feel like death" every day that usually happens when I come off supplements.   I keep wondering why not get the best of all worlds and have the yoga with the positive effects of the supplements?

Still struggling to focus, but that is improving too.  If I was certain to have focus and a full light at the end of the happiness tunnel I would stay off....more to think about

Days 46 and 47 - Gently Flex

I really like that flexibility workout.  It is a perfect mix of challenge and soothe.  Push hard but get looser.  Part of me wishes I practiced in the evening so I could really make progress in the workout.  In the morning I always feel sooooo stiff.  But hey it loosens me up so what more could I want.

The gentle yoga today was good too.  Really relaxing and set me in just the right mood for work.  Amazing that I did so well on just one cup of coffee.  No depression, no sadness, no feeling overly stressed.

You might also be wondering why I don't do the hardcore anymore.  In a nutshell - because I don't need to.  I am getting an excellent workout without it and part of "letting go" is letting go of the perfectionism I need for the hardcore.

I've also been doing a daily meditation, which has been pretty good for me.  Just 10 minutes a day.  It is in an app and is guided.  This was my 4th day and the first I had trouble with it.  Perhaps it is too repetitive, but I will keep doing it for now and right a separate post on it in due time.

Namaste.

Days 44 and 45 - Rebalancing for strength

I can't believe it has been a whole week since a man called Bibo did these two workouts with me.  It was really nice to have someone to practice with.  The energy is a whole lot better.

The balance workout is really difficult, but it makes perfect sense why yogis seem to love the balance metaphor for life.  Allowing yourself to try your best, but be comfortable when you fall is a real challenge to the ego.  The important thing is not in whether you fall, but rather in how you respond when you do fall.

For me most of the balancing and falling was spent staring at Meredith's big, round eyes...honestly - quite the pretty lady.

Image courtesy of Flickr.com

Ok...I might have snuck a glance or two at her ample bosom.  I mean seriously folks, did she have to wear something so low cut and stand in the front row?  Torture, especially when you need to focus not to fall.

The balance workout is also a great reminder of how important it is to balance efforts when exercising.  By going 100% you open yourself to injury.  By not working hard enough you won't get results, but by pushing yourself at a good 80% - where you feel it, but it's not too much and recalibrating to remain there you get the best results.

This is really important for me to remember because I am such an extreme person and I tend to believe you do all or nothing.  That is sad because the 80/20 rule seems to be a much more accurate way of living life.

Today's strength workout was fine.  I really am regaining the strength in my back and shoulder, though it is annoyingly still hurting.  My hip is probably out again because last night the pain was pretty bad.  Still, the mornings are getting easier and they used to be the worst and stiffest.  This is one of the longer ones so it will always be challenging and by layering clothes I managed to get a good sweat.

I have only one thing to say to my main man Bibo - "5 more yogi style pushups"

Days 42 & 43 - Let's get that cardio flow & crack/pop goes the Tito

Just as I finish complaining about not sweating enough I encounter the cardio workout the next day.  Nothing gets you going quite like some sweet cardio flow.  Drizzled sweat on my matt, but not as sweaty as a man called Bibo (that's what you get for chasing me!)

Today I got through the Mountain (no surprise), the Pranayama breathing (no surprise) and failed the meditation (no surprise).  This time I just turned it off at the beginning.  Skipped meditation last night.  I just am not comfortable in my own mind.

I went to an awesome new chiropractor today.  I haven't felt this normal in a long time.  I still have some minor discomfort in my shoulder, but he really got the right adjustments.  Glad I finally switched.  This guy asked all the right questions and saw all the right stuff.  My hip was out of alignment so my right leg was actually 1/2 an inch longer than my left.  Once back in alignment through some adjustments (neck, rib, shoulder) the pain was gone and my legs were back the same length.  Crazy...

Pop goes the Tito!

Day 41 - Want to sweat

Today's workout was tough as usual, but I noticed I'm really not sweating that much anymore.  I think it is a combination of (a) the cold; (b) holding back because of my back; and (c) getting used to the routines.  I'm thinking I may need to find ways to warm up and sweat more.

I'm wondering what to do re: supplements.  Each day is a challenge.  The yoga is really helping me through it, but just barely.  I'm still mostly unmotivated and generally feel like crap.  The first time I realized the supplements were dramatically artificially improving my mood, my response was - I'd rather be on these supplements than on prozac since I get an athletic benefit too and none of the side effects.

In 10 years of supplement usage I never had any prolonged negative side effects, though query whether the one way ratchet of mood elevation and my difficulty of finding joy/motivation once off them is the worst side effect of all.

A lot to think about.

Day 40 - So gentle and sweet

I enjoyed the gentle yoga today.  It really is hard to take a break from the hustle and bustle, but I take it as a huge step forward that I feel as alert and good as I do now despite not having the athletic morning. I had conditioned so many bad habits in my life that I truly began to believe all the negativity that I had thought.  I had created and fed myself with bad thoughts.  "I can't do it if I don't...", "I'm just not whole without...",  "I'm useless before..."

What destructive thoughts.  Now I just breathe and know that alertness and awareness will come to me.  In truth, I still struggle every morning and I still crave and miss the supplements.  The level of goodness in my day never reaches that level of excitement I had before.  The feelings of inadequacy continue to well in me.  The feelings of failure and insufficiency plague my mind, but it is a process and one I am trying to overcome.   This 108 day journey is so much more than a physical journey.  It really is a time of self-reflection.  I truly hope that this inward acceptance is the first painful step to overcoming and leading a more natural happier healthier life.